My breakfast ideas use to be bigger than this. My hopes of an authentic being were barely formed. Though, breakfast was always a delightful break in the bullshit of a day that I knew was coming like a semi down I-75. What happened to my taking pleasure in beginning my day? Is it my ill-tolerance for bread that shot me down? Perhaps I began valuing sleep more than culinary creative expression. If I just gained more sleep I would…I would…eventually feel more tired and fatigued throughout the day (blah). Let’s be real. If I can no longer find excitement in my breakfast, then what will the rest of my day be like?
I’m reading my Simple Abundance almost religiously. I’ve noticed I read it, set it down and barely think about its meditations or contemplations. How can I focus when I have so many other useless things scratching at my attention? How can I authentically dig toward who I am when I have the ghosts of behaviors past drenching me in “repeat”?
The revelation or authenticity is the acknowledgement. Sadness may come from many things but for me, recently, it’s been in acknowledging what no longer serves me in my life. Even after ridiculous behavior and repeat offender type action, this is my lesson. Usually in the morning with my big bowl of cold cereal, Oliver (my cat) attempts to reach his hair-between-his-toes paw into said bowl. I playfully tap his paw away as if he were a little child. This is the voice I sometimes hear when I’m repeating what I know is not “good”. “Stop that” the voice says…the voice that I don’t hear very often NOR respond to out loud. I can almost see someone shaking their head at the same time.
I know this is not meant to shame me into correct behavior, it’s a nudge. A nudge from the person I tend to ignore most days. The gut feeling, the pause in thought where the truth seeps in for one second then is sucked into some type of ignorant vortex. Wake up.
Wake up. Make your eggs with spinach on toast with a side of freshly squeezed orange juice and Greek yogurt with agave and sesame seeds! How does your day look, now?